We’re *all* about self-acceptance here at Otto (no surprise here!). But let’s face it, unapologetic confidence is easier said than done, right?
During these last few months, you’ve probably had some time for self-reflection by looking at your life in a new light. No longer overwhelmed by your busy schedule, you might’ve found yourself with the time to actually think about who you are and where you’re headed. And that’s a good thing! Whether your career, family life, marriage or friendships, taking time to assess your current life has the power to lead to self-discovery and actual contentment—because being happy for where you are right now and where you see your life going is the true meaning of confidence.
So, if you’ve had time to evaluate yourself over the last few months and wish you could be a little more confident, here are five simple tips to help you get there.
1. Let go of perfection.
Confidence is achieved once you embrace the fact that you’re not perfect. After having my fourth child, I finally realized I had to let go of perfectionism. My house was never going to be spotless—or let’s be honest, really even clean. My body was never going to look like my pre-baby 20-something self again, and my skin was still going to flare up from time to time, despite my efforts of using a consistent skincare routine (heck, I even formulated the products myself!).
Bottom line? I will never be perfect, and holding myself to this unrealistic standard simply tears me down and leads to confidence issues. Embracing my messy, chaotic, mom-of-four life has taught me that I’m much happier when I don’t demand perfection, because it’s simply unachievable. The sooner you’re okay with this, the sooner you can start living with more confidence.
2. Be authentic.
We’re all unique, and no one *actually* has an Instagram-worthy life, so why not accept yourself as you are? Being true to yourself and allowing yourself to be vulnerable lets others discover the real you. Admitting your shortcomings and even laughing at yourself helps you be more relatable, building better friendships and lasting relationships. Feeling like you can really be yourself (faults and all!) around those who matter most is true confidence. People can see right through someone who’s not being real, so if you want to take your confidence to the next level, just be you.
3. Take risks.
Stop listening to the voice in your head telling you that you’re just not good enough, or that you couldn’t possibly achieve what you set your mind to. These are lies that steal your confidence and bring you down. So, push aside the self-doubt and do it anyways. If you want to start a beauty business as you approach the age of 40, do it! Your life is what you make of it, so do it your way and stop telling yourself it’s impossible. Confidence is taking risks, failing, trying again and living your life on your terms, every step of the way.
4. Stop using your past as an excuse.
Stop making excuses for your life. You may have had a difficult past, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change your future. It’s often those with the most difficult past who use their resilience to live a happy, fulfilling future. You’re not defined by your childhood, mistakes or difficulties. Instead, use those difficult times to grow, learn and become better. Stop dwelling on negatives from your past and instead, use these to provide greater self-confidence moving forward.
5. Avoid comparing yourself to others.
The one downside to social media is that it usually only displays our very best moments, photos, vacations and more. It’s just not reality, and comparing yourself to the very best of your friends and family is only going to make you feel inadequate. Beyond social media, we often make judgments and conclusions of others based on our perception of their life. True, we all have struggles—but comparing yourself to others will *never* lead to happiness in your own life. The solution? Take a break from social media, or at least tell yourself as you scroll that this is the best of the best. Try to change your mindset, and instead of comparing, simply be happy for others’ achievements. Try thinking of things you’re grateful for in your own life and write them down in a journal. True confidence is being grateful for where you are right now and being happy for those around you.
It doesn’t matter where you are in life—whether you’re 15, 22 or 50, you can always become more confident. Give yourself some grace and look for the positives. Seek out practices of gratitude, let go of perfection and just be you. When you choose to make excuses and avoid your goals, you’re secretly telling yourself that you’re just not good enough, when you actually are. Your life is your own, and comparing yourself to others will never bring you happiness. To be confident is to embrace your true self and be vulnerable enough to let others see that, too. The best part? You can start right now!